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Bad DJ Names

topic posted Thu, February 2, 2006 - 11:02 AM by  Pool
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Pool
SF Bay Area
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  • Bad DJ Equipment

    Sat, February 18, 2006 - 2:40 PM
    us.gizmodo.com/gadgets/ga...-155637.php
    Another pro DJ equipment company is presenting dumbed-down DJing with iPods, with the release of Phonic’s new MixPod DJ mixer. The feature set, down to the video out connection and onboard controls, is nearly identical to the Numark iDJ. And while the MixPod has none of the iDJ’s visual beauty, it has all of the iDJ’s problems: you can’t scratch, you can’t cue, and you’re limited by all the restrictions of the iPod. Basically, you can’t really DJ. We just have to wait for Creative Labs to copy this, and the circle will be complete. Now, will someone please go buy these DJ kids real turntables instead, or at leat get them to figure out how to use their laptops?
    • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

      Wed, February 22, 2006 - 1:23 PM
      "Now, will someone please go buy these DJ kids real turntables instead, or at leat get them to figure out how to use their laptops? "
      Or more shocking yet, learn to play an instrument!
      • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

        Wed, February 22, 2006 - 1:29 PM
        GASP!!!
        • Unsu...
           

          Re: Bad DJ Equipment

          Wed, February 22, 2006 - 1:46 PM
          I'm not sure what exactly they thought 'qualified' them as a 'DJ', but apparently beatmatching wasn't high on that list of skills, because very few of them who I heard 'perform' seemed to have the faintest idea how to do it.

          "So, umm... you play one record after another record?"

          This is a skill? This is what iTunes / WinAmp / Windows Media Player / etc. is for. Get an iPod Shuffle or something.

          smarmyideologies.tribe.net/thre...0594e


          (Yes, I'm quoting myself.. deal with it, I'm lazy)
          • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

            Thu, February 23, 2006 - 1:33 PM
            Here we go again...

            Since when is it shameful to simply play records one after another? Since when is it a DJ requirement that one perform beatmatching or other parlor tricks? Maybe I just want to play old school punk rock, and maybe my audience likes it. Who are you to criticize?

            When I DJ at parties, I take my laptop. It's perfect for what I do.

            Finally, you know damn well that a real human can design an audience experience far better than a pseudo-random number generator.

            Feh.
            • Unsu...
               

              Re: Bad DJ Equipment

              Thu, February 23, 2006 - 3:11 PM
              "Finally, you know damn well that a real human can design an audience experience far better than a pseudo-random number generator."

              Yes, but wouldn't admitting that detract from our pointless, narrow-minded hating of all things "DJ"?



              I am a D.J., I am what I play
              Can't turn around no, can't turn around, no, oh no
              I am a D.J., I am what I play
              I got believers (kiss-kiss)
              Believing me
            • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

              Tue, February 28, 2006 - 7:29 AM
              I lug around 700 cds, and if need be two cdj decks and a mixer.

              KEEPING IT REAL

              --S
              • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

                Thu, March 2, 2006 - 8:26 AM
                I'm really looking forward tothe day when mind control of computers is so good that I can play awesome mash-up and wicked mixes for people just by thinking about them. Finding them and downloading them takes too long for my liking, and making them myself takes way too much effort.
                • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

                  Thu, March 2, 2006 - 2:17 PM
                  I've lost a lot of sleep and my eyeballs have become sticky and bugged-out ever since I was gifted the latest version of Limewire Pro. It's like crack, but lasts longer.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.

                    Re: Bad DJ Equipment

                    Thu, March 2, 2006 - 2:19 PM
                    Pass it down, sista....
                    • Re: Bad DJ Equipment

                      Thu, March 2, 2006 - 2:30 PM
                      I'm not sure how to, but if you tell me I will! I'm kinda technically challenged. I had a friend come install it for me by doing some weird hacking and code cracks. But don't tell nobody!
                      • Unsu...
                         

                        Re: Bad DJ Equipment

                        Thu, March 2, 2006 - 5:56 PM
                        People! I beg of you! Can we PLEASE go back to talking about shade-grown coffee colonics, debating the vegan-ness (or lack thereof) of assorted human bodily secretions and running around like crybaby 3 year-olds blaming the Religious Right for impeding our free access to whatever it is that we feel we are owed by the world?

                        Thanks.
  • Re: Bad DJ Names

    Thu, March 8, 2007 - 5:10 PM
    DJ Unagi?? Wouldn't DJ Uni have more flavor?
    • Re: Bad DJ Names

      Thu, March 8, 2007 - 5:38 PM
      Sounds fishy to me.
      • Re: Bad DJ Names

        Thu, March 8, 2007 - 5:44 PM
        But seriously. did someone say WMBR in Boston? I used to work there. Sometimes I would sit in my friend Bill's Capital Radio program (1 hour rock/1 hour ska) and spew inanities. Basically, just be myself.

        Nothing wrong with playing records, it's nice and all, but it's not terribly hard now is it? And when something says "so and so is a great DJ", what they really mean is "so and so plays a lot of music that I happen to like."

        Also, did I mention I had at least a dozen furry burneres asking for their money back within 15 minutes of me being behind the decks at a party at an infamous Oakland warehouse? The German biergarten drinking songs and the AC/DC polka versions were too much for them. Score!

        DJ Trainwreck Fiasco, clearing dance floors quickly and effectively since 1995.
        • Re: Bad DJ Names

          Thu, March 8, 2007 - 8:27 PM
          my name, hands down. DJ FISHBITS.

          they come in droves.

          As far as beat matching... it isn't a parlour trick. At all. Beat matching is about creating a steady groove... a seamless environment for dancing, without that awkward "should I still be dancing or stand and look around for a second, and then to start awkwardly dancing."

          I am no elitist... I use four inputs.. an ipod you cannot beat match to (mostly), a cdj, and two turntables. I don't beat match cause it is a parlour trick, I beat match because it is so dull otherwise. I want to learn everything I can to hone the way I can control and move the crowd.

          Otherwise, it isn't doing anything. That is just being a jukebox, not a DJ.

          No offense.
          • Re: Bad DJ Names

            Sun, March 18, 2007 - 5:58 PM
            how about renaming some of the ones we love to hate?

            Tiesto = BSto!
            Paul Van Dyke = Paul Van Dickweed
            Paul Oakenfold = Paul Fukingmould/ Paul Mouldyfuck

            and...Tiesto discusses his success!

            www.youtube.com/watch

            • Re: Bad DJ Names

              Sun, March 18, 2007 - 6:13 PM
              The whole beatmatching debate is pretty passe now that there are programs like Tracktor out there to handle the mechanics for you.

              I used to be a militant vinylist, but seriously, after going digital I could not give a fuck what format people use. What's more important is using your mixer like an instrument, as well as your track selection, and all that obvious stuff.

              Knowing how to spin fire on stilts while DJing and serving up a hippie pie to your three lovers will set you apart in the DJ world.


              • Re: Bad DJ Names

                Sun, March 18, 2007 - 5:28 PM
                Only three lovers?

                Doesn't a DJ require at least twelve apostolic worshippers to anoint him?
                • Re: Bad DJ Names

                  Thu, March 22, 2007 - 5:03 PM
                  Doesn't a DJ require at least twelve apostolic worshippers to anoint him?

                  um...HER?!
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Unsu...
                     

                    Re: Bad DJ Names

                    Thu, March 22, 2007 - 5:42 PM
                    Actually, in reference to Rebecca's nom de electromagnetique at KALX, I think it was a cool name.

                    Mostly because I know what xylene is. That's what makes me hip. Yep. Cool like Bactine.

                    Although...was it meta-xylene, ortho-xylene, or pari-xylene?
                    • Re: Bad DJ Names

                      Thu, March 22, 2007 - 6:32 PM
                      DJ Bakelite?

                      I'm cooler and more retro than you 'cuz I DJ with cassette tapes. And aTexas Instruments calculator to help me match the beats. Yeah.
                      • Unsu...
                         

                        Re: Bad DJ Names

                        Thu, March 22, 2007 - 7:15 PM
                        Uhhhhh...I don't spin anything except funny stories. I'm a chemical engineering student, which is why I compare my "cool factor" to that of a first-aid spray.

                        To quote the lovely and talented Mme. Gonzanga: Hee! Snarfle. Kak!
                        • Re: Bad DJ Names

                          Fri, March 23, 2007 - 7:59 PM
                          not a joke...

                          I *DO* DJ with a circuit bent Math n Spell (a la Speak n Spell)

                          It has a mode selector, a couple glitch trips and switches, a tempo on off circular adjust... some biometric buttons....

                          www.fastmatt.com/
  • Unsu...
     

    Re: Bad DJ Names

    Thu, April 19, 2007 - 7:59 AM
    DJ Trainwreck.
    • Re: Bad DJ Names

      Thu, April 19, 2007 - 11:42 AM
      mwahahaha

      I saw him last night come in to relieve me around midnight. He was definitely that.

      I like to be comfy while DJ'ing, and I was thinking of calling myself Dj Croc.

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